[Perhaps it was nothing but a fever dream, that strange place, with its neon lights, and youkai walking the streets. It had seemed pretty real, but who could really say? How could such a wild, fantastical idea be anything but the work of ones overzealous imagination? It's best to leave it at that. Because without proof, who would even believe you.]
[UNDERLAND was an enormous event. A breathtaking venue with several idols giving performances, all based in various aspects of Alice in Wonderland. Each unit was meant to embody a certain theme or character relating to the story, and give an awe striking performance with top of the line stage direction and effects. one of the earlier performances, for example, went with the white rabbit but goth. It's all very spectacular and flashy. Worth watching just for that alone.]
[But then, the next group is announced, and maybe, just maybe, the name ALKALOID means something to Rui. Maybe ...there is something weirdly familiar about one of the members. Maybe something about the card suited soldiers jarred something loose in the back of his mind.]
[Turns out Ensemble Square was never that far away. Somewhere in Tokyo there is an "island". A chunk of land surrounded by water where a very tall building stands. Ensemble square and all of the business and development sprawling out from all sides of its tower is an Idol haven full of shops and people. It's probably not that hard to get close. After all, it's a bustling district full of life.]
[Mizuki and Ena never mentioned it to him. He never talked to Kanade again, and it made him wonder if he ever could. Nene, Emu, Tsukasa, his parents...No one said that Rui had been missing.
Imagination, surely. He'd cooked up entire worlds in his dreams before, lived lifetimes that weren't his own in the end as an escape mechanism. This is just the first time in years, maybe. But then he catches a news bite while his mom flicks through the channels after dinner, a blast of song that doesn't sound familiar with a strong voice that does. It shakes the dust off of all of those repressed memories that weren't quite, and Rui spends the rest of the night furiously googling away to try and see if he was right.
He skips school and rehearsals the next day. Emu blows up his phone just to make sure he's okay, and all she can get out of him is that 'he needs to do something very important'. That something is, of course, managing to stumble his way to Ensemble Square, standing at the doors and trying to get his legs to keep moving. Where does he even start, anyway? How the fuck didn't he notice this whole bigass place before? Is this some sort of fucked up combination of dreams, and he did know of ALKALOID before, just thought that one of the members was cute, merged him into the dream?
Is Ayase going to know him too, in short?
An hour later, and he's quietly trying to ask around, to see where he might find The Mayoi Ayase instead of just merch of him (though Rui does buy a keychain, heart skipping a beat at those melon ramune eyes). Eventually, one of the shopkeepers takes pity on him, manages to pull him aside after an hour of languishing in his own Gay Feelings that may not have a real outlet at all, and manages to point him in the right direction. On this floor, down this hall, knock on that door, so on and so forth. So
just
don't mind some tall gangly cunt coming along to interrupt practice, Mayoi. Three sharp knocks, and he peeks in through the glass just to make sure it's the right one. What a fucking sight.]
[They were all VERY tired, as it turns out. That Live had been a really big one, by their standards. Though they were still very new idols, it was hard to keep calling them rookies after all that. After they put their all into Underland and came out so spectacularly well received ...it felt like the opening to a new chapter.]
[It felt really good.]
[Today their practice was a very light affair. They were more sitting in a circle discussing their future plans. Hiiro excitedly rattling off all the messages he'd gotten afterwards- job offers, requests, all sorts of things. It was good and validating after all of the hard work they'd put into Vermilion. After they were done discussing, Hiiro and Aira had excitedly gone off to go do an interview with a radio show. Tatsumi lingered a little longer but then had to take care of an errand or two for his family. Mayoi was left to practice alone in the room, doing a few light exercises, moving through the motions of their choreography. The rooms are thoroughly sound proof, but Rui can see through the window the object of his quest alone and lost to his music.]
[Of course until he knocks and Mayoi practically jumps out of his skin.]
[What....? Who was that...?]
[... he will. Quietly slink out of view of the window so he can actually escape through the ceiling. Quiet as a mouse he will make his way over to the hall way to peer down at the person on the other side of the door from a vent.]
[This person ...are they familiar...? It's starting to get to him, now. He has seen this strange person somewhere before. Where, where...]
[...Ah, of course Mayoi would skitter off. Even if Rui can't see where he disappears to, it's no small wonder that he's just shot off like that...But seeing him only cements the feeling that yes, it was real. It had to be real. He doesn't remember Ensemble Square being here before, so it has to be
it has to be some sort of side effect from being elsewhere, right? If Sekai are real, then surely whatever happened in Hell had a chance of carrying over. Right? ...Right? Right? If it was a matter of simply admiring an artist, he'd have long had merch beforehand, have taped performances to take inspiration from. The card soldier gimmick is a fun one, could lead to a good play, and yet.
But Mayoi doesn't remember.
That actually hurts. This deep, almost tangible sort of pain in his chest that drains the energy out of him, leaves him sliding down the door to sit there and try to regain his composure. There's no point in forcing things, after all. He'd look crazy.
Crazier.
Just give him a moment, he'll leave soon enough. Just a moment to catch his breath.]
Fufu, of course this is how it is. Sorry, Ayase. [Maybe he can hear, wherever he's hiding. Rui honestly didn't mean to come off as so terrifying, for once.]
[He does hear him and it feels like taking a gunshot to the chest. It's such a strange feeling. He can feel something is supposed to be there, there's some gaping hole where something is supposed to be and he's trying so hard to reach for it now.]
[Something spatters on the dusty ceiling under him, close to his hands. Something wet. It spooks him at first, but then all over again when he realizes he's ...crying? Where are these tears coming from? Oh god, something- something is so terribly wrong and this person must know what it means and suddenly he's talking like he might leave.]
[No. No, no, no, no-]
[Without a sound, suddenly something purple drops out of the ceiling a few steps away from Rui. It's Mayoi and he looks like he's ...seen a ghost. He's bewildered and frightened and his face is damp with confused tears. He can't seem to make words happen but he is looking at Rui with the single most pleading expression he can muster.]
does...does Rui go over? He probably shouldn't. That would be too much.]
...I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm--
A big fan of your work. You inspire me, actually. That's all, so please don't be afraid. I can leave.
[He doesn't want to. He scoots a little closer instead, but that's all he allows himself. Just in case. Just in case there's a sliver of hope. If nothing else, he can at least dig around in his hoodie and pull out a hankie. And then another. Another. Another one. It's the magician's string of hankies.] If you want to clean your face, first?
[A fan...? No, he. He remembers his fans, he remembers every hand shake and every signature. It's not that, there's ...there's got to be more to this. He wouldn't feel like he was in such agony if it was just a happenstance fan meeting.]
[He's in the process of trying to pull himself together so he can actually answer him.]
N-No, please. Please don't- [Leave.]
[The hanky makes him pause, even as he raises a hand to try and scrub his face. He must look disgusting, how could he show his face like this in front of someone--]
[But the hanky happens, and then keeps happening, and he's so startled at first he just stares]
[Until he laughs. A name comes to him unbidden, and it falls out of his lips before he can stop himself.]
[That's all he can do. He's too stunned, both by being remembered, and by how fucking beautiful Mayoi's laugh is. It feels like sunlight just being shot directly into his veins, giddy and warm and all-embracing enough to make him shake minutely.
[There's memories now, they trickle in like sand falling through an hour glass. They're weird and disjoined; surreal. It's a strange dream that's just too uncanny to be true but too real to forget completely. How fitting, considering the theme of their last live...]
[Mayoi doesn't understand what it fully means, but he does know with some certainty the answer to Rui's question. His smile is still a little watery, but he nods, finally meeting his eyes properly with all the recognition that should have been there from the start.]
...Yes. I-
[Bring a hand to his mouth in thought- maybe even guilt.]
I-I don't remember everything, but- that place... That stage we once stood on, it had to be real ....right?
To be quite honest, I'm not sure if I remember everything either. More and more comes back every minute, but is that all real or wish-fulfilment?
[He sighs, subconsciously mirroring Mayoi's gesture even as he smiles faintly at him. Never mind what else he remembers, if certain parts even were reality back there; it's good enough just to be recognised. Everything can be rebuilt, if it needs to be.]
At any rate, I'm...Glad to see you again, Ayase. I saw a performance of yours on television, and your unit...
I remember thinking that you must shine even more brightly when you were with them, and I was right. I'm a little sad that I missed them, today. I came as fast as I could, once I realised that this is the place you mentioned.
I...I suppose we may never know. But ...it's enough, I think, that what I feel in my heart is real. It simply threatened to fall to pieces at the thought of you walking away just now.
[He fidgets a little with his hands, bringing them close to his chest. Common Mayoi habits. He turns a little pink at the compliment.]
Y-You saw our performance at Underland? I'm so glad... I'm so glad I could reach you in this way. That you could find me in return... [Ah, he wants to cry again. Hold it together, Ayase.]
I will introduce you to them! Ah, perhaps tomorrow...? In the meantime, I-I can show you around...!
Ha! Truth be told, if you hadn't come out...I don't know what I would have done with myself, knowing you were here and still out of reach. I really don't know.
[But that's moot, by now. Part of it was real enough to sink into them both, and so
it's probably safe to move in closer. Even if only to attempt to dry any lingering tears with his stupid silk handkerchiefs.]
It's as though I never saw this place until I saw you on television. Until then, I just...Didn't notice it was here. You weren't wrong; it's a fantastic place, even just what I've seen of it. So full of life, and passion...Of course someone like you would want to practice here.
[Back the hankies go, and he just sits there, a little too close, smiling and still vibrating out of his skin. Too afraid to move back, even if that's probably polite. What if that breaks the spell or something? What if he can't see each point of Mayoi's teeth so well from a few centimetres more away, or can't quite see the way his eyes shine, or how their faces are probably equally pink?]
Show me the best routes to sneak in, so I can visit you. Maybe I'll do a flash mob one day down on the ground floor, just to ask you out on a proper date. Fufu~
[Mayoi frowns there, some kneejerk anxiety rushing up at the thought that he might not have remembered and left Rui-san in such a state alone. It makes his skin crawl that he came so close to hurting him like that. Foul, terrible, awful thing, he is.]
[He manages to swallow it down, just barely. He remembers now, that Rui-san did not like to hear him speak so terribly of himself. His nasty words will only make this worse, so he holds it in.]
Fate has been ...very kind to us.
[With a deep breath and his smile returning, he inches a little closer. He reaches for a moment for Rui's hands but pauses just shy, taking a quick glance around. Hm. No cameras, and no sign of That Rat who might try to use Rui-san against him. It should be fine. That assessment done, he will hold his hands out in earnest fort Rui to take.]
I can show you ever nook and crany of this wonderful place. I know this building like I know my own body, and there are hideaways and paths that no one but I can access. [A beat.] I have a master key.
give him a second to just look at their hands and try to process what this means. It's very different to casually just inserting yourself into someone else's space and touching them without any expectations of positive reaction!!]
...It has been.
[h. Okay. Don't be fucking weird for once, Rui. Make eye contact!!]
That makes sense, however. That you have a master key, and that you know this building so well. You spoke of it so fondly, before...I knew that, even if you didn't want to see me, I had to at least come back here and maybe perform, or bring my troupe. I'll do that anyway, but...It won't be so difficult, fufu~
[Tsukasa could probably shine even brighter, if he came here. Or even Nene. They're both the sort of stars who could only fly farther and farther away with training and resources. though is introducing your crush to your other crush a good idea? who knows!
Anyway. Time to stand up, ready to pull Mayoi to his feet because like hell he's releasing his hand any time soon.] You know, I'm impressed. You weren't embarrassed at all by my proposing to ask you out. I think I'd probably swoon if the tables turned...You're stronger than I am, Ayase.
[He is patient, and when Rui takes his hands, Mayoi holds them very firmly, like he has no intention of letting go any time soon.]
This meeeeeeans that I can see Rui-san's troupe perfoooooorm~
[Oh, this is very exciting actually. These things that have occurred to him in a strange deja vous manner. He knew he wanted to see them, that they'd had conversations about this in the past, only it's just now coming back to him. It's a very surreal feeling, processing all of this at once.]
Fufu~ that is because ...I already have sinister plans in mind. You see, I was going to take you away somewhere dark and quiet all to myself once you let your guard down, Rui-san.
Although I doubt that Phoenix Wonderland is something that you'd enjoy, the Wonder Stage is on the edge of the park, and the audience is typically a tolerable size when we perform. If you like, I could organise a pass for whatever day you'd like to come and see us. You could bring friends, too. ...If you'd like. If not, maybe I could ask the others to let you watch a rehearsal and offer critiques? Not that you'd actually have to, even if your input would mean the world, but it'd be enough to let you get a much quieter experience!
[There's that mania gleaming through his eyes, through his wild grin, and yet he still continues rolling both thumbs over Mayoi's knuckles as he chatters away. It's so, so rare that he actually gets to share things that he loves with someone who could understand, and not even his love for ramune could compare to his love for Wonderlands x Showtime.
It buoys him through the immediate urge to fluster, even. A deep breath in to move through that particular wall, before he brings one hand to his lips.] ...Which is to say that I'd love for you to watch us perform, however it happens.
And for the record, you could take me anywhere, and I would follow without hesitation. You could lead me astray right now, fully warned, and I'd still do it. But in return, I'm going to bring you into the glowing warmth that you deserve to feel.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
SLAMS INTO THIS POST
[UNDERLAND was an enormous event. A breathtaking venue with several idols giving performances, all based in various aspects of Alice in Wonderland. Each unit was meant to embody a certain theme or character relating to the story, and give an awe striking performance with top of the line stage direction and effects. one of the earlier performances, for example, went with the white rabbit but goth. It's all very spectacular and flashy. Worth watching just for that alone.]
[But then, the next group is announced, and maybe, just maybe, the name ALKALOID means something to Rui. Maybe ...there is something weirdly familiar about one of the members. Maybe something about the card suited soldiers jarred something loose in the back of his mind.]
[Turns out Ensemble Square was never that far away. Somewhere in Tokyo there is an "island". A chunk of land surrounded by water where a very tall building stands. Ensemble square and all of the business and development sprawling out from all sides of its tower is an Idol haven full of shops and people. It's probably not that hard to get close. After all, it's a bustling district full of life.]
SLAMS INTO....YOU
Imagination, surely. He'd cooked up entire worlds in his dreams before, lived lifetimes that weren't his own in the end as an escape mechanism. This is just the first time in years, maybe. But then he catches a news bite while his mom flicks through the channels after dinner, a blast of song that doesn't sound familiar with a strong voice that does. It shakes the dust off of all of those repressed memories that weren't quite, and Rui spends the rest of the night furiously googling away to try and see if he was right.
He skips school and rehearsals the next day. Emu blows up his phone just to make sure he's okay, and all she can get out of him is that 'he needs to do something very important'. That something is, of course, managing to stumble his way to Ensemble Square, standing at the doors and trying to get his legs to keep moving. Where does he even start, anyway? How the fuck didn't he notice this whole bigass place before? Is this some sort of fucked up combination of dreams, and he did know of ALKALOID before, just thought that one of the members was cute, merged him into the dream?
Is Ayase going to know him too, in short?
An hour later, and he's quietly trying to ask around, to see where he might find The Mayoi Ayase instead of just merch of him (though Rui does buy a keychain, heart skipping a beat at those melon ramune eyes). Eventually, one of the shopkeepers takes pity on him, manages to pull him aside after an hour of languishing in his own Gay Feelings that may not have a real outlet at all, and manages to point him in the right direction. On this floor, down this hall, knock on that door, so on and so forth. So
just
don't mind some tall gangly cunt coming along to interrupt practice, Mayoi. Three sharp knocks, and he peeks in through the glass just to make sure it's the right one. What a fucking sight.]
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[It felt really good.]
[Today their practice was a very light affair. They were more sitting in a circle discussing their future plans. Hiiro excitedly rattling off all the messages he'd gotten afterwards- job offers, requests, all sorts of things. It was good and validating after all of the hard work they'd put into Vermilion. After they were done discussing, Hiiro and Aira had excitedly gone off to go do an interview with a radio show. Tatsumi lingered a little longer but then had to take care of an errand or two for his family. Mayoi was left to practice alone in the room, doing a few light exercises, moving through the motions of their choreography. The rooms are thoroughly sound proof, but Rui can see through the window the object of his quest alone and lost to his music.]
[Of course until he knocks and Mayoi practically jumps out of his skin.]
[What....? Who was that...?]
[... he will. Quietly slink out of view of the window so he can actually escape through the ceiling. Quiet as a mouse he will make his way over to the hall way to peer down at the person on the other side of the door from a vent.]
[This person ...are they familiar...? It's starting to get to him, now. He has seen this strange person somewhere before. Where, where...]
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it has to be
it has to be some sort of side effect from being elsewhere, right? If Sekai are real, then surely whatever happened in Hell had a chance of carrying over. Right? ...Right? Right? If it was a matter of simply admiring an artist, he'd have long had merch beforehand, have taped performances to take inspiration from. The card soldier gimmick is a fun one, could lead to a good play, and yet.
But Mayoi doesn't remember.
That actually hurts. This deep, almost tangible sort of pain in his chest that drains the energy out of him, leaves him sliding down the door to sit there and try to regain his composure. There's no point in forcing things, after all. He'd look crazy.
Crazier.
Just give him a moment, he'll leave soon enough. Just a moment to catch his breath.]
Fufu, of course this is how it is. Sorry, Ayase. [Maybe he can hear, wherever he's hiding. Rui honestly didn't mean to come off as so terrifying, for once.]
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[Something spatters on the dusty ceiling under him, close to his hands. Something wet. It spooks him at first, but then all over again when he realizes he's ...crying? Where are these tears coming from? Oh god, something- something is so terribly wrong and this person must know what it means and suddenly he's talking like he might leave.]
[No. No, no, no, no-]
[Without a sound, suddenly something purple drops out of the ceiling a few steps away from Rui. It's Mayoi and he looks like he's ...seen a ghost. He's bewildered and frightened and his face is damp with confused tears. He can't seem to make words happen but he is looking at Rui with the single most pleading expression he can muster.]
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does...does Rui go over? He probably shouldn't. That would be too much.]
...I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm--
A big fan of your work. You inspire me, actually. That's all, so please don't be afraid. I can leave.
[He doesn't want to. He scoots a little closer instead, but that's all he allows himself. Just in case. Just in case there's a sliver of hope. If nothing else, he can at least dig around in his hoodie and pull out a hankie. And then another. Another. Another one. It's the magician's string of hankies.] If you want to clean your face, first?
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[He's in the process of trying to pull himself together so he can actually answer him.]
N-No, please. Please don't- [Leave.]
[The hanky makes him pause, even as he raises a hand to try and scrub his face. He must look disgusting, how could he show his face like this in front of someone--]
[But the hanky happens, and then keeps happening, and he's so startled at first he just stares]
[Until he laughs. A name comes to him unbidden, and it falls out of his lips before he can stop himself.]
...Rui-san.
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[That's all he can do. He's too stunned, both by being remembered, and by how fucking beautiful Mayoi's laugh is. It feels like sunlight just being shot directly into his veins, giddy and warm and all-embracing enough to make him shake minutely.
Was it real?]
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[Mayoi doesn't understand what it fully means, but he does know with some certainty the answer to Rui's question. His smile is still a little watery, but he nods, finally meeting his eyes properly with all the recognition that should have been there from the start.]
...Yes. I-
[Bring a hand to his mouth in thought- maybe even guilt.]
I-I don't remember everything, but- that place... That stage we once stood on, it had to be real ....right?
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[He sighs, subconsciously mirroring Mayoi's gesture even as he smiles faintly at him. Never mind what else he remembers, if certain parts even were reality back there; it's good enough just to be recognised. Everything can be rebuilt, if it needs to be.]
At any rate, I'm...Glad to see you again, Ayase. I saw a performance of yours on television, and your unit...
I remember thinking that you must shine even more brightly when you were with them, and I was right. I'm a little sad that I missed them, today. I came as fast as I could, once I realised that this is the place you mentioned.
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[He fidgets a little with his hands, bringing them close to his chest. Common Mayoi habits. He turns a little pink at the compliment.]
Y-You saw our performance at Underland? I'm so glad... I'm so glad I could reach you in this way. That you could find me in return... [Ah, he wants to cry again. Hold it together, Ayase.]
I will introduce you to them! Ah, perhaps tomorrow...? In the meantime, I-I can show you around...!
[He sounds so hopeful. Will Rui say yes...?]
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[But that's moot, by now. Part of it was real enough to sink into them both, and so
it's probably safe to move in closer. Even if only to attempt to dry any lingering tears with his stupid silk handkerchiefs.]
It's as though I never saw this place until I saw you on television. Until then, I just...Didn't notice it was here. You weren't wrong; it's a fantastic place, even just what I've seen of it. So full of life, and passion...Of course someone like you would want to practice here.
[Back the hankies go, and he just sits there, a little too close, smiling and still vibrating out of his skin. Too afraid to move back, even if that's probably polite. What if that breaks the spell or something? What if he can't see each point of Mayoi's teeth so well from a few centimetres more away, or can't quite see the way his eyes shine, or how their faces are probably equally pink?]
Show me the best routes to sneak in, so I can visit you. Maybe I'll do a flash mob one day down on the ground floor, just to ask you out on a proper date. Fufu~
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[He manages to swallow it down, just barely. He remembers now, that Rui-san did not like to hear him speak so terribly of himself. His nasty words will only make this worse, so he holds it in.]
Fate has been ...very kind to us.
[With a deep breath and his smile returning, he inches a little closer. He reaches for a moment for Rui's hands but pauses just shy, taking a quick glance around. Hm. No cameras, and no sign of That Rat who might try to use Rui-san against him. It should be fine. That assessment done, he will hold his hands out in earnest fort Rui to take.]
I can show you ever nook and crany of this wonderful place. I know this building like I know my own body, and there are hideaways and paths that no one but I can access. [A beat.] I have a master key.
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HAND......hold......hand.........h
give him a second to just look at their hands and try to process what this means. It's very different to casually just inserting yourself into someone else's space and touching them without any expectations of positive reaction!!]
...It has been.
[h. Okay. Don't be fucking weird for once, Rui. Make eye contact!!]
That makes sense, however. That you have a master key, and that you know this building so well. You spoke of it so fondly, before...I knew that, even if you didn't want to see me, I had to at least come back here and maybe perform, or bring my troupe. I'll do that anyway, but...It won't be so difficult, fufu~
[Tsukasa could probably shine even brighter, if he came here. Or even Nene. They're both the sort of stars who could only fly farther and farther away with training and resources.
though is introducing your crush to your other crush a good idea? who knows!Anyway. Time to stand up, ready to pull Mayoi to his feet because like hell he's releasing his hand any time soon.] You know, I'm impressed. You weren't embarrassed at all by my proposing to ask you out. I think I'd probably swoon if the tables turned...You're stronger than I am, Ayase.
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This meeeeeeans that I can see Rui-san's troupe perfoooooorm~
[Oh, this is very exciting actually. These things that have occurred to him in a strange deja vous manner. He knew he wanted to see them, that they'd had conversations about this in the past, only it's just now coming back to him. It's a very surreal feeling, processing all of this at once.]
Fufu~ that is because ...I already have sinister plans in mind. You see, I was going to take you away somewhere dark and quiet all to myself once you let your guard down, Rui-san.
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Although I doubt that Phoenix Wonderland is something that you'd enjoy, the Wonder Stage is on the edge of the park, and the audience is typically a tolerable size when we perform. If you like, I could organise a pass for whatever day you'd like to come and see us. You could bring friends, too. ...If you'd like. If not, maybe I could ask the others to let you watch a rehearsal and offer critiques? Not that you'd actually have to, even if your input would mean the world, but it'd be enough to let you get a much quieter experience!
[There's that mania gleaming through his eyes, through his wild grin, and yet he still continues rolling both thumbs over Mayoi's knuckles as he chatters away. It's so, so rare that he actually gets to share things that he loves with someone who could understand, and not even his love for ramune could compare to his love for Wonderlands x Showtime.
It buoys him through the immediate urge to fluster, even. A deep breath in to move through that particular wall, before he brings one hand to his lips.] ...Which is to say that I'd love for you to watch us perform, however it happens.
And for the record, you could take me anywhere, and I would follow without hesitation. You could lead me astray right now, fully warned, and I'd still do it. But in return, I'm going to bring you into the glowing warmth that you deserve to feel.