...Rui-san I have ...I have given you one of my most darkest parts and you did not recoil or reject me with disgust as you h-had every right to. I am not-
[Right. Right, he needs to focus.]
...You are in a lot of danger, getting this close to me. When I spoke of scandal before, I was not ...exaggerating. The Tragedy of That Akehoshi was not so long ago ...the truth is.
[He takes a deep breath.]
I-If we are not careful ...a great deal of terrible things could happen and I would sooner die than hurt you like that. Just like I would also sooner die then let our connection be severed. However ...it is up to you. How you would like to proceed now that I've warned you.
[The name 'Akehoshi' vaguely rings a bell, but...He knows More More Jump!, after all. He watches their lives on occasion, sees the possessiveness and sharp cruelty in the fans there and saw it tonight right up close. Tears rolling down the cheeks of fans the closer he got to the front, the screaming of more than just ALKALOID lyrics.]
I wouldn't want to put your hard work at risk, Mayoi-san. And I don't want you to die, either. If I have to share your affections with your fans, then I can accept that.
You know...I already have a friend from another school. I'll simply have to have another, won't I? But I'll protect you with everything I have, rest assured. [His eyes flit towards their linked hands, then back to Mayoi's face; with a deep sigh and a soft smile, he locks their fingers together.] I'll accept whatever measures I must. But I want to keep talking to you, and seeing amazing sights with you.
[He is expecting this to be the end. It should be the end, if he's honest. The right thing to do would be to break it off here, have them go separate ways, and make sure that nothing horrible befalls Rui like it did the Akehoshis. A scandal would kill ALKALOID dead in the water and while he also has reason to stop things here, his unitmates had supported speaking to Rui like this so much that they got the Producer involved in facilitating their meeting.]
[It's a kindness he knows he doesn't deserve, and so, he must make the most of it he can.]
[He squeezes Rui's hand and ...after a moment, raises it to his lips. It's not quite a kiss, but he will just graze his knuckles. There are no cameras in this room, they all made sure.]
I...I feel the same. I do not want this to be the last time we speak. If we must be vigilant, so be it. I'm willing... I'm willing to try. I still want to dream of our stage in the stars.
...If you feel like things are getting dangerous at any point, say the word. I'll understand compl-etely.
[Rui's breath catches in his throat at the feeling of lips against his knuckles, as though he's not watching closely enough for it to be the obvious conclusion. He frees his thumb from the hold, then quickly brushes it against Mayoi's cheek as some small reciprocation.
Yeah, this'll be hard. It'll suck, probably. Not being able to just talk about this sort of thing with his friends for fear of it escaping into the park's staff, into the public, is already a strangling thought. But that stranglehold's loosened with every burning thrill that just being here, getting to hold hands, getting to feel the warmth of someone else without having to pretend in this moment. Gone is the adrenaline of anticipation, and in its place a fierce affection proudly sits.
But they only have about twenty minutes left, if that.]
Would we ever be able to collaborate professionally? Or would that be too risky? I'll move heaven and earth to give you that stage, Mayoi-san.
[He leans into that touch with a little hum. He gives a small nod. It pains him to make this arrangement at all, but he is glad that Rui is taking it very seriously, and isn't reacting with any sort of anger or disdain for what will be like walking on eggshells for the next foreseeable future.]
[His heart feels like it will burst at any moment, even by just that. That regardless of what they're trying to have, and the absolute danger it would mean to navigate it, Rui hasn't turned on him. He's accepting. It makes him want to cry, but he does his best to hold it back. It's hard. He feels things very strongly all the time and he has never been good at masking.]
...
[His question gives him some pause.]
I want us to. I-I want to hope that it would be possible. I think... I will have to talk it over with the others, but ...to collaborate... i-it feels like a safe, innocuous matter. An alibi, even. After all ...there are many idols who "collaborate."
Then just knowing that you feel the same is enough for me, fufu~ Please, don't look so sad. We can work it out, and if we can't, then at least we've tried. That's always better than giving up from the start.
[18 minutes, maybe. A secret just of his own, and a new goal that doesn't blow his current ones out of the water. One that could help everyone involved, if they're only careful enough. And he's getting better and better at being careful with other people, these days.
Rui can't hold back all of that affection that's been forced and swallowed down for so long, and it explodes onto his face in a grin aimed squarely at Mayoi alone.]
Now that that's been decided, we should make the most of this time left to us. Unless...You have another place we could escape to, but I feel like that'd be betraying your unit and the lovely girl who gave me this badge. I owe her most of all. The point is--
I want to get to know about you. What's your favourite kind of music to listen to? What committee are you on in school? Is that beauty mark real? What are you most afraid of? Tell me everything you want to share with someone, and I'll give you everything twofold!
[Ah, he looks a little bashful at being told not to look sad. Rui-san is right, he has no reason to be sad, not really. They are both here right now and they have a shot at something. While he does not know what it might be, it's potential leaves him brimming with affection in a way that it makes it hard for him not to just crack into a smile. It's very moe, this weird purple shark-man.]
Y-you're right. I'm sorry.
[He will gently lead them to the little love seat in the room so they can sit down. Mayoi is running off adrenaline, but in reality he is very tired and he can feel his stamina running out.]
Anzu-san... she is the one who helped us. She's a producer- a miracle worker. An angel to every idol of ES. I-I'm very grateful to her. She has a lovely heart.
[Ah, but ...to learn about him. He's usually so abhorrent of talking about himself. He'd use every chance to deflect away- but. Rui-san is different. He was different from the very beginning and he finds that he does not ...wish to hide himself from him. It's such a strange feeling that is actually catches him off guard. He's quiet for a moment.]
[He chuckles finally and gives Rui a smile that slithers across his face, reaching his eyes. He takes the hand that he has not let go of yet and brings it up to that beauty mark just so he can brush it ever so gently. It's very real.]
Rui-san has so many questions for meeee~ where shall I start...? I favor music from stage productions ...and anything that has a dark and gloomy feel. I am a member of the ninja association ...as well as the sweets circle and overnight outdoors circle among ES.
[He leaves the last question off, because it is not something easy to answer. His smile falls a little as he gives it some thought.]
[Anzu-san, huh? Rui makes a mental note to...Maybe send her a bouquet of flowers or something, if he can. He really owes her, and he'd dwell more on it if only Mayoi weren't currently speaking, directing him to touch his face, and his attention thus currently detained elsewhere.
His thumb rolls affectionately over the beauty spot, tempted to move elsewhere as if to map out a face he's memorised by vision alone. It's surreal, to be so close again and for a burgeoning fascination to be so completely overridden into whatever it is currently gurgling and whirring away in his chest. It's good. That's what matters.]
I might have expected your taste in music, then; something with real flair, that captures the heart and mind of the audience and lets the performer truly showcase their voice~ [The implication there, he feels, doesn't need to be spelled out.] And your committees...You're quite ambitious with your time, aren't you? But I get to understand you a little better, now...And know what to get you as a gift, too.
If you don't want to answer the last question, that's alright. It came tumbling out before I could stop it, and I was a little selfish in asking that of you right off the bat. Just knowing what you like, and a little of how you spend your time...That's plenty for me. You can ask me things instead, to make it fair.
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no subject
[Right. Right, he needs to focus.]
...You are in a lot of danger, getting this close to me. When I spoke of scandal before, I was not ...exaggerating. The Tragedy of That Akehoshi was not so long ago ...the truth is.
[He takes a deep breath.]
I-If we are not careful ...a great deal of terrible things could happen and I would sooner die than hurt you like that. Just like I would also sooner die then let our connection be severed. However ...it is up to you. How you would like to proceed now that I've warned you.
no subject
[The name 'Akehoshi' vaguely rings a bell, but...He knows More More Jump!, after all. He watches their lives on occasion, sees the possessiveness and sharp cruelty in the fans there and saw it tonight right up close. Tears rolling down the cheeks of fans the closer he got to the front, the screaming of more than just ALKALOID lyrics.]
I wouldn't want to put your hard work at risk, Mayoi-san. And I don't want you to die, either. If I have to share your affections with your fans, then I can accept that.
You know...I already have a friend from another school. I'll simply have to have another, won't I? But I'll protect you with everything I have, rest assured. [His eyes flit towards their linked hands, then back to Mayoi's face; with a deep sigh and a soft smile, he locks their fingers together.] I'll accept whatever measures I must. But I want to keep talking to you, and seeing amazing sights with you.
no subject
[It's a kindness he knows he doesn't deserve, and so, he must make the most of it he can.]
[He squeezes Rui's hand and ...after a moment, raises it to his lips. It's not quite a kiss, but he will just graze his knuckles. There are no cameras in this room, they all made sure.]
I...I feel the same. I do not want this to be the last time we speak. If we must be vigilant, so be it. I'm willing... I'm willing to try. I still want to dream of our stage in the stars.
no subject
[Rui's breath catches in his throat at the feeling of lips against his knuckles, as though he's not watching closely enough for it to be the obvious conclusion. He frees his thumb from the hold, then quickly brushes it against Mayoi's cheek as some small reciprocation.
Yeah, this'll be hard. It'll suck, probably. Not being able to just talk about this sort of thing with his friends for fear of it escaping into the park's staff, into the public, is already a strangling thought. But that stranglehold's loosened with every burning thrill that just being here, getting to hold hands, getting to feel the warmth of someone else without having to pretend in this moment. Gone is the adrenaline of anticipation, and in its place a fierce affection proudly sits.
But they only have about twenty minutes left, if that.]
Would we ever be able to collaborate professionally? Or would that be too risky? I'll move heaven and earth to give you that stage, Mayoi-san.
no subject
[His heart feels like it will burst at any moment, even by just that. That regardless of what they're trying to have, and the absolute danger it would mean to navigate it, Rui hasn't turned on him. He's accepting. It makes him want to cry, but he does his best to hold it back. It's hard. He feels things very strongly all the time and he has never been good at masking.]
...
[His question gives him some pause.]
I want us to. I-I want to hope that it would be possible. I think... I will have to talk it over with the others, but ...to collaborate... i-it feels like a safe, innocuous matter. An alibi, even. After all ...there are many idols who "collaborate."
no subject
[18 minutes, maybe. A secret just of his own, and a new goal that doesn't blow his current ones out of the water. One that could help everyone involved, if they're only careful enough. And he's getting better and better at being careful with other people, these days.
Rui can't hold back all of that affection that's been forced and swallowed down for so long, and it explodes onto his face in a grin aimed squarely at Mayoi alone.]
Now that that's been decided, we should make the most of this time left to us. Unless...You have another place we could escape to, but I feel like that'd be betraying your unit and the lovely girl who gave me this badge. I owe her most of all. The point is--
I want to get to know about you. What's your favourite kind of music to listen to? What committee are you on in school? Is that beauty mark real? What are you most afraid of? Tell me everything you want to share with someone, and I'll give you everything twofold!
no subject
Y-you're right. I'm sorry.
[He will gently lead them to the little love seat in the room so they can sit down. Mayoi is running off adrenaline, but in reality he is very tired and he can feel his stamina running out.]
Anzu-san... she is the one who helped us. She's a producer- a miracle worker. An angel to every idol of ES. I-I'm very grateful to her. She has a lovely heart.
[Ah, but ...to learn about him. He's usually so abhorrent of talking about himself. He'd use every chance to deflect away- but. Rui-san is different. He was different from the very beginning and he finds that he does not ...wish to hide himself from him. It's such a strange feeling that is actually catches him off guard. He's quiet for a moment.]
[He chuckles finally and gives Rui a smile that slithers across his face, reaching his eyes. He takes the hand that he has not let go of yet and brings it up to that beauty mark just so he can brush it ever so gently. It's very real.]
Rui-san has so many questions for meeee~ where shall I start...? I favor music from stage productions ...and anything that has a dark and gloomy feel. I am a member of the ninja association ...as well as the sweets circle and overnight outdoors circle among ES.
[He leaves the last question off, because it is not something easy to answer. His smile falls a little as he gives it some thought.]
no subject
His thumb rolls affectionately over the beauty spot, tempted to move elsewhere as if to map out a face he's memorised by vision alone. It's surreal, to be so close again and for a burgeoning fascination to be so completely overridden into whatever it is currently gurgling and whirring away in his chest. It's good. That's what matters.]
I might have expected your taste in music, then; something with real flair, that captures the heart and mind of the audience and lets the performer truly showcase their voice~ [The implication there, he feels, doesn't need to be spelled out.] And your committees...You're quite ambitious with your time, aren't you? But I get to understand you a little better, now...And know what to get you as a gift, too.
If you don't want to answer the last question, that's alright. It came tumbling out before I could stop it, and I was a little selfish in asking that of you right off the bat. Just knowing what you like, and a little of how you spend your time...That's plenty for me. You can ask me things instead, to make it fair.